Mexico Recap V.3 – Hoping to Survive to the Next Day

Part of having diabetes is experiencing low blood sugars. As hard as I try to avoid them, sometimes they sneak up on me when I least expect it; some not so bad, others, bad. The first Sunday we were in Mexico (of course we were on vacation!), I experienced a low blood sugar like I’ve never experienced before-that’s still on my mind. It was by far the worst low blood sugar I’ve had since I was diagnosed 7 1/2 years ago. I was honestly fearful that I would not live to see the light of the next day.

We were walking back to our room from another area of the resort, and my Dexcom alarmed telling me I was low, I thought, that’s funny I sure don’t feel low. I tested and sure enough, I was in the upper 60’s-totally manageable I thought! When I got back to the room, I sat down and treated with Glucolift tablets (YUM). Then I started to sweat profusely and shake. I sat, in a puddle of sweat, and I waited. Then I started to feel really bad. I got up, got the glucagon out of my supply bag, and handed it to Seth, I said, “if things get bad, here’s the glucagon.” I sat back down, trying to harness what was left of any cognitive function to will this horrible feeling away, and then all of a sudden I was reduced to a puddle of tears. I couldn’t take it. It was awful. All that was going through my head was, please, please, let me survive this. Let it be okay. Test, 44, arrow down, re-test, still down, 48. A terrifying eternity. I ate chocolate, I also ate a whole lot more Glucolift tablets. I ate, and ate, and cried, and cried. IMG_5559[1] IMG_5558[1] IMG_5561[1] IMG_5563[1]

I have never in my life cried during a low blood sugar. I sure as hell hope I never do again. I’m so thankful I survived, but the emotional and psychological ramifications of that low are still very present and raw. Hopefully with time they’ll heal.

Thursday Thoughts

In times of great stress or adversity, it’s always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.

–Lee Iacocca

Mexico Recap V.2 – Progress through Baby Steps

I can count on two hands the number of times I’ve publicly worn shorts or a short skirt, in my entire life. I’m 33. I’ve always wanted to hide behind fabric because my legs looked and felt different (not knowing then, why).

Once I received my diagnosis of Lipedema (stage 1), I understood better. Not sure what it is about lipedema that scares the living hell out of me, but it does. It’s a fear that is ever present for me, that I work to manage regularly. A cut on my calf – will that turn into cellulitis? Sprained ankle/contusion – how long will it take that deep lump/bruise to heal? Why are my legs covered in bruises and why do I bruise with the slight touch of a finger or a bump into something? Why are my legs so tender and painful? Will the added stress on my vascular system have diabetes implications in the future? Why do my legs feel so “heavy” and “thick” today? Why is the lymphatic buildup so bad right now – my insulin pump sites won’t work.

You get the idea.

I’ve worked really hard to change the way that my legs look and feel, and my mental thoughts. The last few years have been transformative in all areas and some have asked if it’s possible that I’ve put my lipedema into remission (don’t know if that’s an option?). They’ve changed shape, become lean, toned, and I’ve almost mentally arrived. Our trip to Mexico played a huge role in this. For the first time in my life, I wore nothing but shorts and skirts! And I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. For the first time, I thought, “hey! I’ve got real, visible ankles – look at all of my hard work!” Mexico was empowering for me, and it’s been many baby steps to get to this point, but here I am!

First two pics, are after flying/dehydration – they were extra puffy!

Puffiness! 2 Puffiness!

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Reminders

Reminders that I have type 1 diabetes…and sometimes it wants to be a complete asshole. My bgs have been a little wonky lately, so this past Monday I just decided I was going to manifest awesomeness…which I did! Funny how that works.

Then, I’m laying on the couch last night with my ankle elevated (long story) and all of a sudden boom, my heart is racing and I’m really hot. I think, hmph I should probably test my bg. Sure enough, 54. That’s the lowest low I have had in probably 1 1/2 years? I have maybe 1 low per month anymore. I went into the kitchen, treated, and then came back to elevate my ankle some more. I said to Seth, “it’s really hard to not walk into the kitchen, inhale everything in it, and then curl up in a ball and go to sleep and not wake up.” This has always been the best way for me to attempt describing my cognitive thoughts when I’m low – I literally want to curl up and go to sleep, and not wake up 😦 Doesn’t happen often, but it is the worst feeling in the world.

On top of all of that, having manifested my bgs back into submission…I still rebounded from that low, and ruined my Dexcom graph (HATE THAT!). So, that’s what I get for not inhaling the entire kitchen to try to save myself.

Reminders. Reminders of the mental burden of this disease, and just what it has the capability of doing.

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Guest Post on Joslin Diabetes Center Blog

Today, I’m honored to have a guest post appear on the Joslin Diabetes Center Blog, about following a Paleo lifestyle living with type 1 diabetes. I still receive a lot of questions, so I hope this touches on some of them.

I’m so grateful for this opportunity to reach a much more broad audience on this topic!

Guest Blog Post: Paleo and Type 1 Diabetes